In the previous post I talked about the passing of my father-in-law. We always knew he was going to pass, and probably not long after coming to live with us in 2017. BUT.....and it's a big one, we always thought, and most everyone that knew our family thought, that my mother-in-law would be the one to pass first. She had already technically died 2 or 3 times back in Colorado, and on the last one even argued with paramedics about it because she hadn't seen a bright light, therefore there was no way she could have died, even though by all medical terms she had.
I've written other posts about the trials and tribulations of taking care of my mother-in-law, so I won't rehash those, but feel free to go back and read them if you need a refresher, never read them before, or just because you want to.
After the passing of her husband, she grew weary of the daily battles that she had....with memory, day to day tasks, everything.....and she began sleeping more. And after several months she decided she had had enough and she wanted to go home...to Heaven. She even got out of bed on her own in the middle of the night, put on her socks and shoes, and decided she was going to leave, just keep walking until Jesus took her home. The only problem....she couldn't figure out how to open the garage door. We wouldn't have know any of this except for the fact that her shoes were by her bed in the morning when we went down to get her "ready" for the day and she had her "good" socks on. It was then my husband and I knew something had to change. We spoke with her doctor and called Hospice. Much to my surprise, Hospice deemed her a candidate. I had always thought that you had to have a doctor say you had 6 mos or less to live, but because of her health issues and her attempted "escape" they saw no problem.
My husband had had a feeling she would "be home" by Christmas and I'll admit there were a couple of times I thought for sure that he was right, two specific times in fact......but the next day she would be alert and it was like nothing had changed. Christmas, came and went and my mother-in-law seemed better than before and we were resigned to fact that she was in fact going to live forever.
Once again, my husband and I had a trip planned. This time to Cancun. He had retired at the end of 2019 so he could be a Pastor full-time and his company had asked him to come to their annual company meeting so they could send him off. They even said I could come. It was truly a blessing for us and a much needed vacation. We hadn't gone on a vacation together since 2010. Nothing was going to get in the way of this.
We made arrangements for respite care with Hospice for the time we were gone. They would allow 5 days, we were only going to be gone 4, so it worked out perfectly. They would pick her up the Sunday before we left and bring her back on Friday, a day after we got back. It worked out perfectly.
That Friday before we all left for our prospective destinations, I had a feeling that she was going to pass while we were gone, I just knew she would, but I also knew that we still needed to go. My husband, being the pragmatic that he is, had already been getting things in place just in case, so that there was no reason to come home early. Sunday came, and my mother-in-law was picked up. We went and saw her after she got settled in, and I can look back now and see she truly seemed to be at peace. Before she left for respite care she kept asking when she was going, when they were going to pick her up, how long she was going to be there.....over and over. I thought it was because she was scared, or hurt, or angry. Looking back I can see the deeper meaning in those questions.
We left early Monday morning, looking forward to a couple of days of uninterrupted relaxation. Once we landed in Cancun, had found our transportation, and were on our way to the hotel the texts started to come in. The Hospice nurse had sent a message just before we landed that it appeared my mother-in-law was starting the transition. It was a long 25 minute drive to the hotel while we made phone calls and sent text messages to let immediate family know. My mother also visited her that same day and said the same thing. We let our sons know, one of which was in Cancun with us as he works for my husbands old company. Our youngest was able to visit her, tell her he loved her, and say goodbye.
Just before noon(Arizona time) on Tuesday, January 14th, Bonnie Warembourg breathed her last and peacefully passed into the arms of her Savior, something she had been wanting for awhile. We were told by the Hospice nurse that it was the most peaceful passing they had ever had.
We finished our vacation. We had put things in place for just such an occurrence, and there was really nothing more we could do, that couldn't wait a day or two. The Lord knew we needed that vacation, and looking back so did she. As a good friend pointed out to us, we think the reason she didn't pass before Christmas.....she didn't want to do it in our house. So, for all the 20 questions about when she was going and for how long, I can look back and she was just getting herself prepared.
So, now what.......... (cont)
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