The dangers of commercials

My mother-in-law is a hoarder.  Not quite worthy of an episode on the tv show, but I think that is only because of her husband.  Left to her own devices....well.....

So it's been quite the change of environment for her when she moved in with us.  She did really good leaving a lot of stuff behind, but she did still have the urge.  We would go out to eat and she would grab any extra napkins she could.  If it was a fast food restaurant it would also include any plasticware she used.  We would find spoons and napkins in the travel diabetes bag we used and used straws on her stand next to her.  Upon finding them, we never said anything, we just quietly tossed them out and she really was none the wiser.  We knew not to question the action, it only ended in an argument. 

Fast forward the eight months since the in-laws moved in with us.   When they moved in we got them each a DVR so they could record and watch all the shows they like to watch.  They had DISH back in Colorado so they were also spoiled being able to fast forward through the commercials and my mother-in-law talked incessantly about how she hated commercials for the past 6 of the last 8 months.  Then she had a mini stroke and was in the hospital for a week, followed by skilled nursing for another 3 weeks.   Well, they didn't have DVR's or the ability to fast forward through commercials so she got out of the habit of doing it, plus after the stroke her memory had gotten a little worse.

So, now she has a tendency to forget to fast forward the commercials and ends up watching them.  The only problem is that it tends to "wake up" that hoarding complex and the need to buy things.  Most of the things are not something she would EVER use or need.....but that isn't the point with a hoarder......they just want things.

Some of the things she wants: 

1) New insurance.  She has STELLAR insurance and with the diabetes needs it.  Most of her prescriptions cost pennies.  I think between all doctor visits, hospital stays, etc. they've had to pay hardly anything.  But the ad for Medicare insurance programs convinced her she needed new insurance and asked for 2 weeks straight about it before moving on.

2) Microwave egg cooker.  She thought the Egglettes cooker looked like a great idea and she wanted one.  The problem here.....she doesn't eat eggs.  She hates eggs.  We pointed that out to her, which she replied, " I know, but it would work for eggs in potato salad".  To which we shook our heads and silently giggled, because.....she doesn't cook anymore and hasn't for YEARS!! I think the last time she actually cooked anything was Thanksgiving 1998 or somewhere around there.  Her cooking mostly consisted of heating up a microwave dinner.

3) Plexaderm.  This is apparently a cream for the bags under your eyes and wrinkles on your face.   She's suddenly decided she wanted to get rid of the bags and wrinkles.  Which she really doesn't have many wrinkles, and the bags are because she doesn't sleep.  Plus....she's 80 and sits in a chair(now a bed) all day.  What on earth would she need Plexaderm for???  But it's free to try she says and we should go to the website to find out about it.   Thank goodness she doesn't have access to the internet.

4) Better Clean Silicone Sponge.  This one is the kicker.  She told me she would love to get this, and thought anyone that owned a home would love one.  What made this the best one, especially for my husband, is that fact that I'm not sure she's cleaned a dish in her life.  Remember those microwave dinners??  Yeah, no dishes there.  Somehow this is something she needs to have though.

Thank goodness she hasn't found HSN or QVC.  There is a reason we don't keep the phone or her wallet by her bed.